My friend’s brother committed suicide the other day. He was a tall, blond and blue-eyed introvert with a 140 IQ. Jumped off a ledge. By all accounts, he was a genuinely decent young man. This tragic story took place in the West and almost everyone I know also knows a friend who killed themselves in one way or another other there. Some know several. Reminds me of that song:
I'm so sorry for your friend with the gaping hole.
I nearly checked out twice during the Obama years. My dog vet had set me up with tramadol for emergencies. My plan was to head south, find a remote beach, down the pills with alcohol at low tide, fall asleep & either die from the opioid-alcohol combination (stops autonomic breathing) or drown when the tide came in & get swept out to sea, or get eaten by sharks or whatever hopefully while still unconscious.
First, though, I had to re-home my critters. That is where my plan fell through. The bird rescue that was going to be just over the border in NH instead had set up in southern CT, was full & by its website, run by elite morons who knew *nothing* about birds. The arabian breeder with more horses than stalls, that I'd bailed out by taking one of her yearlings with intent to return, now had cancer & was rehoming her entire herd. And so on...
Since then, the tramadol went to my dog in an emergency, & tramadol is now illegal here, so that well conceived, pretty bulletproof & gentle exit is gone.
I expect eventually I will just die from exhaustion because too cowardly for violence.
Besides, I've known since I was single digits old, before I'd ever heard of reincarnation or karma, that this will be my last life. May as well just get through it .
I’m so sorry for the loss of this young man. As a mother of 3 boys my heart truly aches for him and his family.
Yes, we have to let these losses and the pain be fuel for our fight. My every waking breathe is spent trying to make sure my sons are strong enough, and smart enough to survive in this world and I must say it’s exhausting. The threats to them are so many and complex. Do all You can and then pray it works...I guess that’s all any of us can do.
> People will spout platitudes about the beauty of nature as proof that this world is actually pretty neat.
I take it you're responding to me here. Thank you for opening up.
> I don’t deny that nature is beautiful. So is a woman’s naked body... [but then] a fiance that decided to move to Brooklyn to “find herself” instead of starting a family with us.
Who's to blame - you, her, or the sadistic creator god? You seem to blame the latter two, but maybe it was you. To interject from my own bio, a line from the lowly Jimmy Buffet. "Some people claim there's a woman to blame, but I know it's my own damn fault." I too had a life-love in hand. Didn't know it at the time. "Don't know what you've got til it's gone." Now I know. Had I met her later on, perhaps I'd have known more about life and acted differently towards this divine gift. But maybe w/o the experience of loss, I'd never have awakened.
The lesson seems to be that we can learn from our mistakes. That's what life is all about: earning the wisdom of experience. I don't think life is about misery in a fallen world, fallen from a platonic realm or an Edenic paradise. Joy is not a shadow of somewhere else, not even Brooklyn or some other promised land. No one's to blame for our bad choices, not even the Jews. It's persistence in bad habits that needs to be ended. That's what I believe you're writing about and it's why I'm following you.
All my condolences for this loss. The death of an old man or woman is grief for anyone close but at least is anticipated and marks the end of a complete life. The death of a young man with most of his life ahead of him is simply tragic. A life without outcome.
Thank you Rolo for sharing your weak points and weavers. I have been sheltered from suicide thoughts because my way of conceiving self-destruction is by becoming a nuisance : I was contemplating joining the Islamic State or the Hezbolah at a low point, or starting a bombing campaign against the top officials of the French state at another one.
Mourn your friend, gnash the teeth and let time heal the suffering.
"We fight to acquire the strength and acumen to stay one step ahead of the chomping jaws of evil. Never give up. Nurse within yourself instead, a burning desire to flip the tables on our oppressors. Let every loss you experience in your life or in those of the people who are near and dear to you act as a fuel log that you toss into the iron furnace of your will. Let it drive you to get better. To get stronger. To embolden you to defiantly spit into the leering face of the Evil that runs this world."
...because I'm pretty sure that God has left this task to us, and that we're all that stands against it.
Always been a great fan of Offspring. Catchy tunes and superior songwriting with an existentialist streak. Darker and heavier than Green Day whom they were frequently compared to. The latter where lighter, but quite nearly as deep, in their ironic disenchantment.
NOFX were held in high esteem as being a very successful punk band all the while managing to avoid getting mainstream as the above two did. But I didn't like them very much thought them to be a bit shallow.
Well, while pilfering time on Wikipedia not long ago, I discovered that the pillar of the group, singer and bassist Fat Mike, is a jew.
True to the merchant in him, he founded the very successful Fat wreck records label. Apparently nowadays as per Wikipedia he declares himself a "BDSM queer" and has a dungeon in his basement.
What I find amazing is that I instinctively recoiled from NOFX but instead liked Offspring. 20 years ago when I had no idea of what undercurrents flow below the surface of modern Western society.
I'm so sorry for your friend with the gaping hole.
I nearly checked out twice during the Obama years. My dog vet had set me up with tramadol for emergencies. My plan was to head south, find a remote beach, down the pills with alcohol at low tide, fall asleep & either die from the opioid-alcohol combination (stops autonomic breathing) or drown when the tide came in & get swept out to sea, or get eaten by sharks or whatever hopefully while still unconscious.
First, though, I had to re-home my critters. That is where my plan fell through. The bird rescue that was going to be just over the border in NH instead had set up in southern CT, was full & by its website, run by elite morons who knew *nothing* about birds. The arabian breeder with more horses than stalls, that I'd bailed out by taking one of her yearlings with intent to return, now had cancer & was rehoming her entire herd. And so on...
Since then, the tramadol went to my dog in an emergency, & tramadol is now illegal here, so that well conceived, pretty bulletproof & gentle exit is gone.
I expect eventually I will just die from exhaustion because too cowardly for violence.
Besides, I've known since I was single digits old, before I'd ever heard of reincarnation or karma, that this will be my last life. May as well just get through it .
I’m so sorry for the loss of this young man. As a mother of 3 boys my heart truly aches for him and his family.
Yes, we have to let these losses and the pain be fuel for our fight. My every waking breathe is spent trying to make sure my sons are strong enough, and smart enough to survive in this world and I must say it’s exhausting. The threats to them are so many and complex. Do all You can and then pray it works...I guess that’s all any of us can do.
> People will spout platitudes about the beauty of nature as proof that this world is actually pretty neat.
I take it you're responding to me here. Thank you for opening up.
> I don’t deny that nature is beautiful. So is a woman’s naked body... [but then] a fiance that decided to move to Brooklyn to “find herself” instead of starting a family with us.
Who's to blame - you, her, or the sadistic creator god? You seem to blame the latter two, but maybe it was you. To interject from my own bio, a line from the lowly Jimmy Buffet. "Some people claim there's a woman to blame, but I know it's my own damn fault." I too had a life-love in hand. Didn't know it at the time. "Don't know what you've got til it's gone." Now I know. Had I met her later on, perhaps I'd have known more about life and acted differently towards this divine gift. But maybe w/o the experience of loss, I'd never have awakened.
The lesson seems to be that we can learn from our mistakes. That's what life is all about: earning the wisdom of experience. I don't think life is about misery in a fallen world, fallen from a platonic realm or an Edenic paradise. Joy is not a shadow of somewhere else, not even Brooklyn or some other promised land. No one's to blame for our bad choices, not even the Jews. It's persistence in bad habits that needs to be ended. That's what I believe you're writing about and it's why I'm following you.
Thank you for your thorough writing and view. My own reflections put so well.
All my condolences for this loss. The death of an old man or woman is grief for anyone close but at least is anticipated and marks the end of a complete life. The death of a young man with most of his life ahead of him is simply tragic. A life without outcome.
Thank you Rolo for sharing your weak points and weavers. I have been sheltered from suicide thoughts because my way of conceiving self-destruction is by becoming a nuisance : I was contemplating joining the Islamic State or the Hezbolah at a low point, or starting a bombing campaign against the top officials of the French state at another one.
Mourn your friend, gnash the teeth and let time heal the suffering.
[FEDPOST] Why not going after your enemies instead? Also carries high risk of death, but would be much more gratifying.
I’ve experienced suicide in my family
"We fight to acquire the strength and acumen to stay one step ahead of the chomping jaws of evil. Never give up. Nurse within yourself instead, a burning desire to flip the tables on our oppressors. Let every loss you experience in your life or in those of the people who are near and dear to you act as a fuel log that you toss into the iron furnace of your will. Let it drive you to get better. To get stronger. To embolden you to defiantly spit into the leering face of the Evil that runs this world."
...because I'm pretty sure that God has left this task to us, and that we're all that stands against it.
Always been a great fan of Offspring. Catchy tunes and superior songwriting with an existentialist streak. Darker and heavier than Green Day whom they were frequently compared to. The latter where lighter, but quite nearly as deep, in their ironic disenchantment.
NOFX were held in high esteem as being a very successful punk band all the while managing to avoid getting mainstream as the above two did. But I didn't like them very much thought them to be a bit shallow.
Turns out I was vindicated after reading dissident content. NOFX hold in the repertoire songs such as Kill all the white men https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY0l2FtdMY4
or Don't call me white
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ciGBTMHMOc
Well, while pilfering time on Wikipedia not long ago, I discovered that the pillar of the group, singer and bassist Fat Mike, is a jew.
True to the merchant in him, he founded the very successful Fat wreck records label. Apparently nowadays as per Wikipedia he declares himself a "BDSM queer" and has a dungeon in his basement.
What I find amazing is that I instinctively recoiled from NOFX but instead liked Offspring. 20 years ago when I had no idea of what undercurrents flow below the surface of modern Western society.
All that matters is survival. We never stop and we prosper.
Written from your heart
So sorry, RIP your friend .